So, I found out there'll be a new Green Card lottery in September 2009, for 2011...

I'm considering entering, but now I'm not sure if I should. I mean... I wouldn't mind going there. At all. My girlfriend lives there, my main language of use is English, I'd get away from a few people that bother the living hell out of me on a daily basis... but... I'd also leave my friends, the town I grew up in, the life I've lived. And it scares the shit out of me.

Especially since I'll most likely be moving to Arkansas... Bible Belt. Lot of Christians. Not happy with an Atheist who's in a lesbian relationship. A ton of heat that's gonna cause my eczema to play up even worse.

I also have no idea how to take along a lot of my stuff, like my computer... I could buy a new one there if I had to, but I'd have to sell this one and I don't really wanna sell this one... mom's gonna whine about me leaving to an 'unsafe place' all the time, but I'll be fucking 22 by then, and besides any place can be dangerous, I could die walking outside and getting hit by a car just around the block...

Kinda mixed on the thought, but... I think I'll still try to enter. I can build a new life out there... and save to go back to the Netherlands from time to time. And to England, for English conventions! ^^

...but fuck... it's a gigantic leap for me. And this mixed feeling is... kinda awful, since I usually just go ahead and go with the flow. Me not being too sure is horrible.